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I Quit Drinking!

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This is something that I have tried in the past, and I always gave in. I would shoot for 30 days and would talk myself out of it pretty quickly. Friends would say, “What is the big deal?  It is only one drink a day. Just enjoy it.”
As I have gotten older, I was having more and more issues with it. I tried my best to deny it. How could one drink a night be a problem? This summer, I was having a lot of anxiety. I wasn’t sleeping well.  I was waking up in a panic. I was also feeling very agitated during the day.  For years, I have been listening to different podcasts about the effects of alcohol. I finally felt like I needed to give this up. On Tuesday, September 9th, I decided to not drink that night. You know what they say, One day at a time. I got through that and I decided to keep going. I am now on Day 55 and I am giving it 6 months. I knew if I negotiated with myself, just drink on weekends etc., that it would just creep right back in. 
I made a video on Day 44 that goes through this deeper. It ends with a great mocktail recipe that has helped me so much. 
Do you have issues with alcohol? It feels like so many of my friends have struggled with it. 

I could go on but that feels like enough for now.

Love,

Mary

I made a sweater!

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Creativity was my word for 2025. I like my creativity to be functional, so I decided to start knitting. I first made a scarf and then went on to a sweater. The woman at the knitting store tried to encourage me to make a hat after the scarf. I told her I really wanted to make a sweater.

My friend Wendy is an excellent knitter and I knew she would help me through the hard parts. I also attend the library knitting circle when I can. It is a new sit down activity for me. Some days, I can’t believe I am in the library knitting and talking about pie. I really enjoy it. It has been great to meet new people. You just sit there. You don’t need to eat or drink. You don’t need to talk if you don’t want to. You sit and knit and 5 months later you have a new sweater! The ladies are so supportive and everyone tells you how much they love your sweater. Knitters are very nice people.

On to my next sweater!

Love,

Mary

Cucumber, Tomatoes and Wild Arugula

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I have a small backyard with an even smaller vegetable and herb garden. It doesn’t get a lot of sunlight, so I plant vegetables in little areas that receive more sun. I stuck 2 cherry tomato plants in the side yard in between a limelight hydrangea and a laurel bush. On the other side of the yard, I have a few cucumber plants growing in a cage. They are planted in between a quick fire hydrangea and sedum. Everyday, I am able to pick a few tomatoes and a cucumber. I love sharing the small excess with friends and my Mom. “Here Mom, I grew you a cucumber!”

Gardening and sharing the bounty is a wonderful way to elevate your spirits and stay grounded.

Love,

Mary

Creativity

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I have decided my word for the year is creativity.

I started knitting again. I haven’t knitted since college. Back in the day, I was low on funds. I decided to knit hats for Christmas gifts. This time, I thought I would really like to knit a sweater. I went to Mother’s Knitters in Red Bank with my friend, Anne. I decided a sweater was a bit ambitious and it would be best to start with a scarf. I am making it for myself! Dante at the store suggested a super merino wool and told me to go with a light color. Apparently, you can see your mistakes easier with a light color. Anne got me started and now I am about 2 feet in. I am really enjoying it. I knit in the evening during Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. It is not just straight knitting either. Every row has a knit purl section to it. When I make a mistake, I go to You Tube to learn how to fix it. Thank you You Tube. Next, I will knit a sweater!

I told my therapist that I started knitting again and she sent me this quote from a Native American woman.

“Grandma how do you deal with pain?” “With your hands, dear. When you do it with your mind, the pain hardens even more.” “With your hands, grandma?” “Yes, yes. Our hands are the antennas of our Soul. When you move them by sewing, cooking, painting, touching the earth or sinking them into the earth, they send signals of caring to the deepest part of you and your Soul calms down. This way she doesn’t have to send pain anymore to show it. “Are hands really that important?” “Yes my girl. Think of babies: they get to know the world thanks to their touch. When you look at the hands of older people, they tell more about their lives than any other part of the body. Everything that is made by hand, so it is said, is made with the heart because it really is like this: hands and heart are connected. Think of lovers: When their hands touch, they love each other in the most sublime way.” “My hands grandma… how long since I used them like that!” “Move them my love, start creating with them and everything in you will move. The pain will not pass away. But it will be the best masterpiece. And it won’t hurt as much anymore, because you managed to embroider your Essence.”~Elena Barnabé S

Gardening season is coming. What do you like to do with your hands?

Love,

Mary

A Brick on the Head.

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I am back at it. I was committed to blogging every month. I was consistent through November. December was a doozey of a month, with a brick on the head wake up call. I know I have been putting it off, because I am not sure what to share. I decided I just need to start. I went back and looked at my journal. I was feeling a lot of stress the past few months. I was agitated much of the time and not sleeping well. I just kept pushing to get things done. What I needed to do was stop and slow down. A part of me feels accomplished by getting so much done. I also felt resentful about having to do so much. Back to my brick on the head wake up call. My son Tom and I were driving to church on a beautiful Sunday December morning. I dropped off homemade sourdough bagels at my friend’s house. We were driving down her street at 25 mph when a kid pulled out of the Walgreen’s parking lot and hit us. The car spun around, the air bags blew and I was yelling the whole time. Apparently, that is how I respond in a crisis. We were fine, no one was hurt but my beautiful Honda CRV, was totaled. So, so Sad. I loved that car!

I thought I was handling the accident well. I was grateful that no one was hurt. At the same time, I felt like crying. I was so sad about my car. Christmas Eve was the topper. We went to my niece’s house for Christmas Eve dinner. We got home that night, and around 10 pm, I was having a nose bleed. I got it to stop. I went to bed and woke up at 1 am with blood on the sheets and my nose was bleeding again. This time, I couldn’t get it to stop. I was starting to panic. Dan, my husband googled how to stop a nosebleed and we decided I better go to the Emergency Room. Dan went upstairs to get Thomas, our special needs son, up. I was laying on the couch in the den. I decided to get up and I went by the front door. I was starting to pass out. I could feel the right side of my face and neck tightening up. I am thinking I am having a stroke. I started yelling call 911, I’m having a stroke. I managed to get myself back on the couch. I felt much better. Meanwhile, our neighbor who is an EMT is at my door. 2 Little Silver police officers, a Little Silver ambulance and the paramedics showed up. They checked my vitals, and they made me smile to see if both sides of my mouth went up. I wasn’t having a stroke just a full blown panic attack. In the middle of all this, my nosebleed stopped. I haven’t had one since.

The incident reminded me that I need to slow down and refocus on taking really good care of myself. I am doing Wim Hoff breathing and meditating daily. I take a cold bath or shower 3-4 times a week. I put myself in therapy. I am feeling better. I notice when I start feeling agitated and I do my best to stop. I also bought a new car which I love. It took about a month to find. It is a beautiful black 2021 Acura RDX with 26,000 miles on it. We bought it off the auction which was very exciting. I joined the car wash club. I am taking great care of myself and my car. It feels important.

Thanks for reading.

Love,

Mary

My Acura drawing looks like a VW Bus, which would be fun too!

November

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“I tell you about my Dad to tell you that the reality that there are tens of millions of people who do not find character and integrity and truth telling to be basic requirements for elected public service is absolutely insane to me.” Rob Bell

It has been a rough month since the election. I have focused on taking really good care of myself. I want to have a calm nervous system. I signed up for an online Illustrative Figures course, and started drawing with colored pencils. Art therapy is a real thing. It has been helpful to spend quiet time drawing. I search for a quote that goes with the sketch. It has been fun and I will keep on practicing.

I am also plunging twice a week with the Plungettes. The ocean is 53 degrees. The water has been calm and beautiful. Our goal is 11 minutes a week. Plunging is a challenge and always makes me feel better.

I am back drinking my coffee with butter, MCT oil, plus a scoop of collagen. I am focusing on getting enough protein. I am working on cutting down on my alcohol intake which is never easy. I am tired of thinking about it. I know it is not good for me, but it is such a nice way to end the day. I do feel better with less.

I had a mammogram, a CT scan for my Calcium score and my eye lasered. All is well. I am happy to check all of that off my list!

Now, on to peace and joy for the Holidays. Enjoy it, focus on feeling your best!

Love,

Mary

"To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow." -Audrey Hepburn

“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” Audrey Hepburn

Small Details

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Every morning, I like to get up, make a cup of coffee, sit down in my corner of the couch and write in my journal. Part of me thinks this is silly and why do I bother taking the time. I noticed when I skip a day or two I miss it. It helps ground me and gives focus to my day.

Yesterday, I finished writing and I randomly opened up to March 6th. This is what I wrote. “I want to write short daily blog posts, short videos, daily habits, events, enjoying simplicity.” I have not posted in 2 months.

I love the small details in people’s lives. Perhaps, my details might inspire you.

Do you like to journal in the morning with a cup of coffee?

Mary

Integrity-Love-Simplicity

I Started Eating Bread Again!

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Big news! After years of avoiding bread, I decided to start eating it again, guilt-free, with butter. I love Kerry Gold grass fed butter. It is a very cozy treat along with a hot bowl of soup. Bonus, I have lost 7 pounds!

I just finished Rob Bell’s Where did you park your spaceship? Heen Gru-Bares, the main character, loves sourdough rosemary bread. After listening to the 12 hour audio book, I feel like sourdough rosemary bread is in my cells. I need to make the bread! Making sourdough bread is a big deal. You don’t need yeast. It rises with the natural fermentation process. I hope it works out. I am making the starter, which takes at least 7 days. You need to feed it daily and keep it warm. Ideally it should stay between 75-80 degrees, so it ferments properly. I am keeping it in the oven with the light on for a little heat, It is a commitment and a fun winter project!

I also feel my cold plunges have been very helpful in keeping my weight down this winter. I am on Day 75 of our cold plunge challenge. I have not missed a day. I am impressed with myself! It has been very helpful. My mood is better, I have great energy throughout the day and I am grateful not to have put on my usual winter weight.

“Margarine? That’s not food. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter? I can. If you’re planning on using margarine in anything, you can stop reading now, because I won’t be able to help you.”

Anthony Bourdain Kitchen Confidential

I did it!

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Today is Day 46 of my cold plunge challenge. My sister and I plunged for 30 days and decided to continue until the end of the year. I am impressed with myself. I can usually rationalize my way out of things. This challenge has been hard. There are many days when I really don’t want to get into the cold water. The tap water is now 50 degrees. I do it anyway, and I always feel better. It is a instant mood changer.

I have created a spa like ritual around plunging. I workout first, because that is what I do. I come home and turn on the kettle for my collagen protein coffee, start the water in the bath tub, and light my “ocean air” candle that my niece bought for me. When the tub is filled, I take a few deep breaths and grab my hot cup of coffee as I get into the tub. I have a few sips of coffee and then I submerge myself in the tub. I breathe my way through it. In the past, I would try my best to distract myself. Now, I sit there and breathe. I feel like I can cross meditation off my to do list. I stay in for three to four minutes. In the past, I would stay in for at least 5. I have found I am cold enough with three to four minutes. I get out, towel off and moisturize myself with coconut oil. I then use a gua sha tool on my face and neck. All of this is done in 15 minutes or so. I feel so much better!

I am so grateful for the cold tap water. I am also meeting with the plungettes for a cold plunge in the ocean once or twice a week. It is always more fun with friends. Click here to read 6 benefits to cold water plunging.

Love,

Mary

Happy Birthday to Me!

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September 15th is my birthday. I love telling everyone. People are so nice when they know it is your birthday. I want to take the time to look back at the good things that have happened to me this past year. The first thing that comes to me is that I started running again. I train hard with my friend Dorian two to three times a week. Dorian always has a challenging workout for me. We began in March with short track workouts and now we are running for an hour in the woods. I am so grateful that my body is able to handle the stress. I have lost 6 pounds since starting. I will be 69 running in a jog bra, shorts and my minimal sneakers. It feels like a big deal to me, and it’s something I never thought I would be able to do again.

I have been keeping a journal this year. I am part of a Fireside chat group that meets monthly. We are reading The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. I have been sporadic about doing the work. It is more natural for me to go out and run than to read a book. I am glad that I am keeping up with writing my morning pages.

I stopped highlighting my hair and I feel okay with that. People say you will look older when you let your hair color go natural. I wanted my hair to match my 69 year old face. I was tired of putting chemicals on my head.

I kept up with my life as a mother, daughter and a wife. I planted zinnias, cucumbers and tomatoes in my yard. I clean the bathrooms every Tuesday and got out on the roof to wash the bedroom windows.

I plunged all year in the Ocean. I am so grateful to the plungettes for sticking with me.

I started reading books rather watching Netflix on my computer before going to sleep at night.

Of course, my ladies at OutdoorFit are spectacular! They keep showing up and sticking with it. I am so grateful that I am able to keep them moving. They especially love getting down and up off the ground. They know that it is a very important skill to keep as you age.

My Dad passed away in November. In someways, I feel closer to him now then ever before.

It has been a good year.

Thanks for reading.

Love,

Mary

Integrity – Love -Simplicity